Wednesday, April 15, 2009

What is the fuzzy index?

Today - fuzzy index from 9 down to 5 (10 total fog, 0 clear)


Today the fuzzy fog began to slowly lift. What is this fog? I don't know, sort of a dull feeling I seem to carry around in my brain. What causes it - could it be toxins in the body, dehydration, depression, stress, tiredness - maybe a little of all of these.





I sat in my special chair and looked out the window at my special tree and just tried to calm my mind for 15 minutes before work started. I work from home, so work was only in the next room. My partner knew I needed quiet and I also turned off the computer speakers, and shut the door to my office. I thought of a quality I needed at the beginning and end of the meditation. That quality was - STRENGTH.

Again, a day where things went more smoothly than usual. I had more patience when dealing with my workmate, and it wasn't a hassle to go and buy food in the afternoon, a task I normally don't enjoy. As I walked up the aisles of fruit and veg I felt grateful for all the work that others had done to make my life so easy.

We cooked dinner cooperatively, and I was offered a glass of wine. Immediately I said "No thanks." - the STRENGTH came into being. I just didn't want to and I felt the fog lift a little more. I felt in control and I reflected about how many creative hours I could capture by not collapsing in front of TV with a glass of wine. Could it be 5 a week - more? That could add up to 300 or more hours a year. Not only that, but on weekends, I might wake up feeling fresh and get more out of those days off, as well.

It's a bit of a change - I do have some time now, about an hour, to work on something I want to do before bed. I have decided I will do something purely for pleasure now. What will it be?
I would like to do a little sewing and then read my new magazine, with a cup of herb tea and honey. That will be nice.

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